The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Episode 1: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly 

As the new trainee in the criminal law firm of Bagnall & Dunbar, Theodore Gulliver discovers he has a lot to learn.

Unfortunately for him, Bruce Dunbar is the man who's going to teach him..................................................................

The scene is set with the fleeting appearance of Bagnall, of Bagnall & Dunbar, Criminal Defence Specialists (Down the stairs, 2nd on the left). Seen only from behind, he promptly keels over in his chair and drops down dead in front of his client, 'Edward The Confessor', who immediate telephones the police to confess to murdering his brief.

Soon we see Bruce Dunbar in the Magistrates Court, spinning them what soon becomes his standard line in mitigation, "My client's deprived childhood, the recent loss of his job and the sad death of his much-loved mother". A suitably unimpressed magistrate looks across at Dunbar's client, who's eighty if he's a day! Next we see Dunbar on the prowl, and soon berating another solicitor, Mr Singh, for trying to poach one of his clients.

Now we're introduced to Theodore Gulliver - kind, patient Gulliver, waiting at the police station, bearing a card from Bagnall & Dunbar. He looks horrified as one of the policemen spits into a mug of tea and stirs it in. Gulliver, who is a young black man, sets him straight, "One, I'm not a suspect and Two, it's not my tea anyway". "Yeah I know mate, it's his", replies the copper pointing over at a tall white man in a suit.. We now see the female Custody Sergeant Elaine Ross adding her saliva to the mix before the mug is handed over to the unsuspecting recipient. When Gulliver asks, "Is he a paedophile or something?" the Sgt replies that he's the Crown Prosecutor (this is our first sight of Spinky Sutherland).

Now Theodore extends his hand and introduces himself to CS Ross, but she ignores the hand and is more surprised that "Dunbar's hired you?".... His first client, Derek, is a young man who doesn't want to be bailed, nor returned to his bail hostel due to the bullying he suffers. Whilst attempting to contact Derek's probation officer, Theodore is waylaid by Dunbar, who proceeds to instruct him in realities of the system, namely that instead of getting Derek off with a caution (and thus earning £60 attendance fee), his being charged would earn them around £300. Now Theodore, our voice of reason, begins to question how the system can enable the spiralling costs, potentially running into thousands, all to stop or at least punish the theft of a £20 football shirt.

Bruce and Theodore now look through various case papers in the Custody Suite, while Bruce attempts to flirt with Elaine - "That's Custody Sergeant Ross to you!". Bruce emphasises the importance of getting the client to sign the legal aid form, "Because if they don't, you don't get paid!".

Theodore now sits with his next client, John Smith, who was caught burgling a house. According to Detective Constable Simons, he wanted to co-operate with 78 other offences. Theodore soon realises that Smith has no idea where many of these 78 address are, so probably did not commit these burglaries. He discusses this with Dunbar, who suggests that maybe Smith was threatened or persuaded into co-operating and that one way to verify this would be to study hours of custody tapes, all billable of course! Sgt Ross is unimpressed by the request for the tapes.

Next we meet Connor Reilly, a 16-year-old bail absconder, suspected of trying to burn down the children's home. According to DC Simons, he's a "diagnosed psyche, so we're just going to nut him off, ok? His parents don't want him, the prisons don't want him and I don't want him. Let's just nut him off to a psychiatric unit where he might get some treatment for a change". Simons tells Gulliver that it's up to him to sort out.

Next day, whilst Gulliver phones the RSPCA to collect Connor's dog, Bruce starts to take an interest in John Smith's custody tapes, which show him being visited by his girlfriend and, later, cleaning the cell toilet...

Later as Dunbar and Gulliver arrive in court, we are introduced to Senior Crown Prosecutor, Sarah Beckenham. In a quiet aside, Bruce advises Theo not to come up against Sarah unless he's properly prepared. "She's destroyed more male egos than public school". When the case is adjourned 'for two weeks time', Sarah is quick to point out to the magistrate that this will be a Bank Holiday. Theodore is quietly impressed. Later, Sarah agrees to Theo's request to send Connor to a psychiatric unit (even though it's in Norfolk) and in court this option is presented to the magistrate, who actually appears more concerned with the wlfare of Connor's dog.

Dubar's perseverance with the surveillance tapes pays off as he eventually spots DC Simons giving John Smith a chocolate orange. He now confronts Simons with the tapes and suggests that, in exchange for confessing to some unsolved burglaries, Simons turned a blind eye to the fact that Smith had swallowed a couple of heroin wraps when arrested, which were then stashed under the rim after being excreted out and the chocolate orange then provided silver paper for Smith to later smoke the drugs. Simons has to agree to drop the charges, including the initial burglary.

New comes that Connor has lost his place in Norfolk to a more pressing case, meaning that he has to remain in custody, despite Gulliver's pleas to the magistrate, who wrings his hands, again showing more concern for the dog.

Derek is found a new youth hostel, but is soon under arrest again, with another stolen football shirt and another black eye.

Dunbar gets off one black youth, William Duhaney, while his friends go down, then he gets a face full of phlegm for his troubles. He tells Gulliver that he does what he can, but doesn't want to befriend or care for his clients. He tells him that, "It's not the skin colour, it's just the attitude". Later in the pub, as Theodore teaches Bruce how to play (and lose) a game of pool, he also teaches him a lesson in how it may feel to keep losing at a game you don't really understand, whilst being judged by someone who just doesn't "like his attitude". Already the pupil is becoming the teacher.

Other cast members

Edward The Confessor... Craig Shepherd

Mr Singh... Harmage Singh Kalirai

Young Asian... Umar Ali

Uniformed PC... Paul Nish

Derek Sykes... Gavin Harris

John Smith... James Foster

Connor Reilly... Craig Fitzpatrick